‍This blog post was written by Kristen Peairs, Nutritionist and Meditation Facilitator at Nivati. You can see more of their content on the Nivati platform and on the Nivati blog. If you want to learn more about Nivati, click here.

It can be hard to know what healing looks like. When we’re trying to heal our wounded inner child, how do we know our efforts are making a difference? What are the signs that our inner child is healing? It’s important to know what to watch for because nobody wants to expend a large amount of effort and not get results!

If you’re new to inner child work, I recommend reading How Connecting with Your Inner Child Can Boost Your Mental Health.

A Healing Story

My inner child healing journey began in grad school when I was suffering from body aches and digestive upset. Desiring to avoid taking medication, I sought out therapeutic practices that focused on natural healing. At the time, I didn’t know what an inner child was or that my inner child needed attention, I just knew I wanted to feel better.

The practices I tried often involved gentle touch, thoughtful conversation, and reflective prompts. During the experiences, I was guided to notice my thoughts, feelings, and body sensations. Sometimes, painful emotions and/or uncomfortable memories arose. I learned that breathing through the discomfort helped relieve it. Over time, the frequency of my discomfort lessened, and the memories disappeared.

These days, from the perspective of healing a hurt inner child, I can look back and understand that my wounded inner child was suffering from worries about not being good enough. She craved to feel nurtured and heard. Through giving her my time and attention, she was able to heal. A few tangible things I noticed were that my body stopped having so many aches and pains, my digestion improved, and it was easier to make healthy food choices.

It's been over twenty years and I have continued to use aches, pains, and discomforts as cues to look deeper and explore further.

Inner Child Healing Is a Journey

Healing is a process as unique as each of us going through it. It’s important to allow ourselves space for grace. We’re going to have ups, downs, and setbacks. It’s all ok and normal. Treating our healing experience as a journey and keeping our eyes on our end goals of feeling more peace, happiness, comfort, etc., can help us persevere even as we stumble over the hurdles of our past pain.

Our Pain Is Our Responsibility

It’s imperative to remember that our pain is our own, regardless of how it came to be. Changing our mindset to accept personal responsibility for healing ourselves rather than blaming others opens us up to experiencing the wellness we crave.

Inner Child Healing Signs

Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, “Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child” provides many examples of what healing an inner child can look like. A few ways to recognize our wounded inner child is healing are when we are honoring our body, choosing mindfulness, being compassionate, embracing healing strategies, and staying curious.

Let’s explore these concepts a little further.

Honoring Our Body:

When we’re honoring our body, we are consistently choosing foods, activities, and environments that nurture and support our body’s best functioning. In other words, staying connected to our body’s needs can help it stay healthy.

Many foods we eat and behaviors we engage in don’t honor our body’s health. Why, then, do we make these choices? In many cases, it is to meet a momentary craving inspired by feelings and emotions. We want the feeling that we believe the food, activity, or environment will provide regardless of the harmful effects it may cause. As we tend to our hurt inner child, it’s natural to feel less influenced by our feelings which make it easier to choose what’s best for our body.

Choosing Mindfulness:

Mindfulness is about tuning into what is going on in the present moment. To explain using other words, when we’re being mindful, we are choosing what we want to focus on rather than becoming swept up in thoughts, feelings, and activities outside of our current domain of control. Mindfulness also means that we are responding to situations, rather than reacting to them. Responding involves slowing down, thoughtfully considering, and carefully planning before moving forward, whereas reacting is usually quick, emotionally motivated, and defensive. The healthier an inner child becomes, the easier it is to choose mindfulness.

Being Compassionate:

When we’re able to be compassionate with ourselves, despite any perceived imperfections, we know our inner child is healing. Wounded inner children, with their lack of emotional development, often keep us trapped in a fight/flight mentality. As we take steps to learn about their pain, we gain understanding. As we understand, we have more space for compassion. With compassion, comes healing for ourself and our inner child.

Embracing Healing Strategies:

There are a million strategies we can use to help our inner child heal. It’s our job to experiment and learn which ones are the best for our situation. In his book, Thich Nhat Hanh offers a variety of strategies. Nearly all of the strategies involve becoming quiet, focusing on breath, noticing the body, and paying attention to feelings. One practice is called, “A letter from your inner child.” In this practice, we are guided to ask our inner child how they feel and what they want. The instruction is to write whatever comes into our head. Once we know our inner child’s feelings and desires, we have a better chance of offering support that will be received.  When we’re finding it easier to embrace strategies and even to seek out new ones, we know our inner child is healing.

Staying Curious:

Curiosity keeps us open to new insights and possibilities. When our inner child is no longer in high-stress mode, we have more bandwidth to be curious and to notice the goodness that life has to offer.

What’s Your Next Step?

After reading about my process of inner child healing and how I know healing is occurring, what are one or two points you’d like to keep pondering for yourself?

Disclaimer

By participating in/reading the service/website/blog/email series on this website, you acknowledge that this is a personal website/blog and is for informational purposes and should not be seen as mental health care advice. You should consult with a licensed professional before you rely on this website/blog’s information. All things written on this website should not be seen as therapy treatment and should not take the place of therapy or any other health care or mental health advice. Always seek the advice of a mental health care professional or physician. The content on this blog is not meant to and does not substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.