This blog post was written by Liadan Gunter, Life Coach at Nivati. You can see more of their content on the Nivati platform and on the Nivati blog. If you want to learn more about Nivati, click here.
The most beautiful thing about humanity is that we’re not all the same. There is so much to be learned from one another and from our diversity—so many lessons that can be uncovered in the spaces between us. Yet, unfortunately, the world we live in doesn’t always celebrate our differences. In fact, many wars and conflicts have risen out of our diversity simply because people become enraged by what isn’t the same as them.
Instead, they create barriers, laws, rules, even walls, simply to keep differences out. Some would rather stay blind, or hide from difference simply because it challenges their worldview and their way of life.
Differences of opinion, tradition, and religion are everywhere—but we can choose how we approach these differences. We can either build bridges or build barriers between us. The choice is ours. There lies immense potential in building bridges between people to not only create better versions of ourselves, but to construct a more tolerant and accepting society.
Our world is becoming even more interconnected than ever before, so becoming cross-culturally fluent is an important skill. Cross-culturalism is a concept that recognizes the differences among people from different backgrounds, nations, ethnicities, and customs, and how to foster positive relationships amidst these differences.
Whether you’re traveling, working with diverse teams, engaging in international business, or even just walking down the street to your neighborhood coffee shop, understanding and respecting cultural differences is fundamental.
Navigating cross-cultural interactions can lead to better relationships, broaden your perspectives, and help you avoid misunderstandings. I was raised in three countries, and in my adulthood I have lived in two more countries, and have worked in several more across three languages. In this post, I want to provide you with some practical strategies to navigate cross-cultural situations that I have found to be particularly important and useful. These will help you approach cross-cultural situations with sensitivity, adaptability, and an open mind.
1. Be Curious
Curiosity is a powerful trait. It’s with curiosity that we can build bridges between our differences. Sure, what we may discover may be at direct odds with how we do things ourselves, but there are two outcomes that I find to be particularly compelling. You may challenge your current viewpoint and find an interesting or even better alternative. If not, you may gain more evidence to support your current view or custom and why it works for you. Both are wins, but you can’t get there without curiosity.
I currently live in Italy, but as I mentioned before I was raised in three others: Australia, Argentina, and the US. My own culture is a mix of these three countries, but I am also influenced by Italy, where I have now lived for two and a half years. When I first moved here, I found it particularly difficult to reconcile my upbringing with the traditional family values where the father goes to work and the mother takes care of the home. This is something we can see in varying degrees across many cultures, but in the region I am in, it’s very common, which means the expectations of women are more focused on the home. Very rarely am I asked about my work.
Initially, this was something that was very triggering for me since I grew up in a family dynamic where my mother’s job was the position that moved my family around. So I grew up thinking that my gender didn’t have any bearing on my work opportunities. This, of course, is not the norm for most of the world, where equality between men and women hasn’t been achieved yet—but it was the norm in my world. As a result, I had historically found myself moving away from activities that were in alignment with traditional gender roles because I wanted to challenge them. However, this is where curiosity can become such a powerful aspect of cross-cultural relations.
Instead of avoiding these traditional roles, I found myself asking questions about what people liked about these traditions they were upholding, and what they didn't like. I tried to learn from them. And what I discovered was a love for cooking and other traditional activities. I was never much of a cook before, but after moving to Italy, I really began to value it. I’d ask to learn family recipes or embrace sitting around the dinner table for hours, enjoying each other’s company and hearing about the traditions they have. Having lived in the fast-paced culture of Boston for many years, sitting around the dinner table and taking long lunches were not things that I was comfortable or familiar with. However, my curiosity about these activities allowed me to find joy in them—and a love for them.
I realized that by embracing my curiosity instead of making assumptions about what these traditions mean, I could enjoy the wealth of beauty and warmth, and comradery that comes along with it. My own viewpoint changed: I can be an independent woman and still enjoy traditional activities like cooking or making a home a home. If I had a closed-minded approach to this situation, I would have never become a better cook or learned to enjoy these moments. Now they are some of my absolute favorite pastimes. My views about gender equality have not changed, and I don’t want to be expected to do these types of activities—but at the same time, I can allow myself to enjoy them. Curiosity lets multiple truths exist at once.
2. Cultivate Cultural Awareness
To navigate cross-culturally, start by developing cultural awareness. Educate yourself about the customs, traditions, and social norms of different cultures. Read books, watch documentaries, and engage in conversations with people from various cultural backgrounds. The knowledge you gain will help you adapt respectfully and avoid inadvertently offending others.
Knowledge is power. Having some basic understanding of the culture you’re traveling to or working in can help you be more aware and provide a safe space for those you’re interacting with from a particular culture. For example, during my master’s program, I worked with researchers from Japan at a base camp in Uganda. Here I was navigating in a different culture from my own with others from an entirely other culture. Having some knowledge about Japanese culture and Ugandan culture was really helpful in this situation. I knew it was polite to take my shoes off inside, for example, and that the Japanese researchers I was working with would find that respectful. Knowing these kinds of tips can help a lot and go a long way toward creating positive and considerate interactions with those of a different culture from your own.
3. Embrace Open-Mindedness
Embracing an open-minded attitude is crucial when navigating cross-cultural interactions. Be prepared to encounter beliefs, values, and practices that differ from your own. Approach these differences with curiosity and respect, rather than judgment. Recognize that diverse perspectives enrich our understanding of the world and allow for personal growth.
This can be challenging, particularly when confronted with ideals and beliefs that may be in direct conflict with your own. Be patient with others and yourself, and remain respectful in your dealings with others with very different beliefs. Recognize that this may pose a perfect opportunity to try to understand an opposing viewpoint. Treat it as a learning experience, and remember that many realities can exist at once. Accept they will have their own view. By engaging in a curious way, you may find that you learn something you hadn’t thought of before. Try not to have an expectation of outcome in these types of situations, but treat them as a discovery process—one where you gather information about another viewpoint. Take the pressure off of yourself, as well; remember you don’t have to agree, but can have a civil and curious conversation.
My experiences in Uganda challenged many of my ideals. I worked with people native to Uganda when I was in the field. During our research, we would talk about our different customs, and I remember the researcher I was working with told me that in Uganda it’s quite customary for the men to have several wives. If I had a closed mind about this, I would have just shut down the conversation. But I knew that my views or my custom is just that—mine. It has no bearing on theirs, but I can certainly learn from them. This is the benefit of having an open mind—there’s so much you can learn, even if you don’t align yourself with others’ values. Through asking questions with an open mind, I learned many interesting and funny stories about Ugandans’ dating process and how the multiple wives interact with each other. I find myself thinking about this way of life from time to time, and I feel more enriched by my new knowledge, not less—more curious and fascinated by the various ways our species lives. I think it’s beautiful to be open and impressed by all these different ways of living.
4. Practice Effective and Respectful Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of successful interactions, including cross-cultural interactions. Adapt your communication style to accommodate different cultural norms. You may consider spending some time observing their communication style, and then proceeding. There are many different ways people communicate. There are cultural differences even in the same country!
Even the length of time or pacing of conversations can be reflective of a culture. For example, New Yorkers have much smaller gaps in their communication and tend to talk over one another. This is culturally acceptable in New York. In California, on the other hand, they have longer gaps in their communication and tend not to interrupt each other. Knowing this type of information about how these different cultures communicate can help you when you navigate cross-culturally with them. If you’re not from New York, and find yourself struggling to get a word in while talking with a New Yorker, you can take less offense knowing this is a cultural norm - not believing that person is rude, as that particular custom may be according to your culture. This is one of the benefits of learning about communication differences between cultures.
Be mindful of non-verbal cues, as they can vary significantly across cultures. Active listening and asking clarifying questions can help bridge gaps and prevent misunderstandings. Additionally, if you’re in a foreign country or dealing with a foreign language, spend some time learning a few basic phrases in the local language. This effort shows respect and facilitates connections with people from other cultures. Most people appreciate this type of effort.
5. Build Relationships
Building relationships across cultures requires effort and patience. Take the time to understand the values and priorities of individuals from different cultural backgrounds. Spend time engaging in conversations to foster genuine connections. Actively seek opportunities to learn from other's experiences and perspectives. Search for common ground—even in our differences we can find many commonalities. Perhaps you share similar traditions…or perhaps your traditions are different, but there’s a common element and value of the importance of family. Finding common ground and learning respectfully about each other’s cultures can build trust and mutual respect, which ultimately lay the foundation for successful cross-cultural collaboration.
I am proud to say that I have friends from all walks of life. I’m not sure they would all get along, but I am grateful to have fostered a community of people with such diverse backgrounds. Having friends that are different from you can be so important because it can help you grow. For example, I have a friend who is completely unfazed by anything (really—he barely reacts to anything). On the other hand, I can be reactive. This difference between us is one of the reasons I wanted to be friends in the first place, although initially I remember thinking he was a bit too calm, and he thought I was a bit too driven. However, we both took something from one another. He taught me how to be more calm in the face of difficulty. I have taught him how to not give up in the face of it. These differences between us make us stronger, not weaker. Cultivating relationships with people that are different from you can mold you into a better person if you let it.
6. Adaptability and Flexibility
Cultivating adaptability and flexibility is useful in navigating cross-cultural interactions. Be prepared to adjust your plans, expectations, and even your own behavior to accommodate cultural norms. Embrace the notion that there is no universally "right" or "wrong" way of doing things. Accepting and adapting to different ways of living and working will help you navigate unfamiliar environments with ease. This can be challenging, particularly when navigating in foreign countries, so go easy on yourself as you're adapting and being flexible—these skills require more mental energy than life in your comfort zone. Be proud and kind to yourself as you adapt, and give grace to others if they are the ones adapting. Adapting takes time and is an act of bravery. Let’s reward this with kindness.
When I first moved to Europe, I moved to Barcelona, Spain to do my master’s. I had just moved from Boston, and I remember being completely shocked by the number of people having a beer at lunchtime. I remember thinking, “How on earth do they get anything done?” This isn’t something I ever saw in Boston, so to me it was completely shocking. However, I learned, “You know what? It’s ok—there is no ‘right way’.” To be fair, I still don’t partake in this activity myself, but I decided not to form assumptions about it. In fact, now I look at this as a reminder for me to slow down a little more, take it easier, and not overly stress about work, which is something I had done a lot previously. It wasn’t just this per se that helped my relationship with work, but the more laid-back culture helped me create more balance in my work and life.
7. Learn from Mistakes
I don’t think I can count the number of times I have mispronounced a word or said a vulgar word by accident. The best advice I can give is to not take it too much to heart. If you offend someone by accident, apologize, and try to make it right, but remember that you’re learning, and it’s through our errors that we learn.
Even with the best intentions, cultural missteps can occur. If you unintentionally offend someone or make a mistake, apologize sincerely and learn from the experience. Reflect on what went wrong and seek to understand the cultural context that led to the misunderstanding. Use these moments as opportunities for growth and self-improvement. Remember not to beat yourself up, too. We’re bound to make mistakes, just as we do in anything, so give yourself grace and know that you can do better next time. And make sure you give this same grace to others who are trying to connect across cultures.
Ultimately, navigating cross-culturally requires a broad skill set, but it’s one that can be learned and cultivated. Embracing diversity and approaching cultural differences with respect and curiosity will help you forge meaningful connections and build successful cross-cultural collaborations, which is good for our world, those around you, and yourself. By following these strategies, you can navigate the complexities of cross-cultural interactions with confidence and appreciation for the diverse world we live in, build friendships with those you maybe never thought you could, and develop richer perspectives.
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