This blog post was written by Erin Malan, Meditation Facilitator at Nivati. You can see more of their content on the Nivati platform and on the Nivati blog. If you want to learn more about Nivati, click here.
Metta meditation, also known as Loving-Kindness meditation, began in the Buddhist tradition thousands of years ago. The practice has grand aims: to help us feel love for all beings everywhere, especially ourselves. When we practice Metta meditation, we essentially choose to focus on life’s interconnectedness and the idea that everyone deserves love. This specific meditation may sound overly sentimental, but numerous studies have shown that it has immense health benefits.
Benefits of Metta Meditation
Metta meditation has been well-researched and evidence is strong that practicing Metta strengthens both physical and emotional health. Below is a list of many of the benefits, with links to their respective studies:
1. Greater Physical Health and Social Connection
5. Decreased Chronic Pain and Psychological Distress
6. Stronger Emotional Intelligence
7. Increased Emotion Regulation
8. Lowered Social Stress Levels
10. Lowered Levels of Self-Criticism
And you do not need to practice Metta for hours each day to reap its benefits. Just a few minutes of practice can increase feelings of positivity and social connection.
Why Metta Meditation Works
Learning the practice’s origin story gives clues as to why it works.
The tale goes that Buddha sent a group of 500 monks to a certain forest for a long meditation retreat. Unbeknownst to the monks, the forest was inhabited by ghosts. After a couple of days of meditation, the monks began to experience frightening sounds, disturbing sights, and unpleasant smells. They were soon filled with fearful thoughts, which broke their focus and meditation.
The ghosts that lived in the forest were also scared because they believed the monks were taking over their forest home. The frightening experiences they produced were intended to get the monks to leave.
It worked: the monks left and returned to Buddha. They told him that the forest was an impossible place to meditate because it produced too much fear. The Buddha responded: “My beloved monks, go back and take with you a true weapon of protection, which I will now teach you.” He taught them Metta (Loving-Kindness) meditation.
Because of their respect for the Buddha, they returned to the forest to meditate again, this time practicing Metta. Again, the ghosts haunted them, but the monks persisted through their fright and anxiety and continued practicing Metta. Eventually, the fearful sights and sounds disappeared.
Once the ghosts felt the monks’ Metta–or Loving-Kindness–their feelings of anger and fear were replaced by feelings of welcome and connection. Instead of cultivating an atmosphere of turmoil, the ghosts began to create an environment of safety so the monks could meditate in peace.
The opposite of love is not hate. It is fear. –Gary Zukhov
When the monks and ghosts were in states of fear and anxiety, they were not their best selves. The same is true for us: When we focus on negative thoughts and assumptions about ourselves and others, it is difficult to be present and creative. Metta invites us to let go of anxiety and fearful thought patterns by replacing them with Loving-Kindness. This does not mean we learn to roll over and pretend that every person and circumstance is wonderful; instead, we learn to act from a place of loving empowerment.
How to Practice Metta (Loving-Kindness) Meditation
Metta meditation is meant to be simple, so positive feelings can flow naturally. Traditional Loving-Kindness phrases are presented in the script below, but do not feel tightly tied to them. If other words with similar meaning resonate more with you, please use them.
As feelings come and go during the meditation, choose to rest in the words and/or your breath. At times, the meditation may feel mechanical and ordinary, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t working. Each time you practice, even for just a few minutes, you are building Loving-Kindness toward yourself and others.
Find a comfortable place, where you can sit undisturbed for a few minutes.Take a few deep breaths and let go of any stress or mental preoccupations.
Metta is first practiced toward oneself, since it can be hard to love others without loving ourselves. Sit quietly and mentally repeat the following phrases: “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease. May I know the natural joy of being alive.”
It can be helpful to bring to mind an image of yourself–perhaps an image of you as a child, or the way someone who truly appreciates you sees you. Again repeat the phrases in your mind: “May I be happy. May I be well. May I be safe. May I be peaceful and at ease. May I know the natural joy of being alive.”
Now bring to mind a friend or family member who cares deeply for you. Reflect on this person’s basic goodness. Think about specific reasons you love them. Then slowly repeat the phrases of loving-kindness toward them: “May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you know the natural joy of being alive.”
If feelings of loving-kindness arise, connect with them. Let them flourish and grow
Now bring to mind an acquaintance–someone you have neutral feelings about. It can be a neighbor or a clerk at the grocery store. Bring this person to mind and repeat the phrases of loving-kindness: “May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you know the natural joy of being alive.”
And now, if possible, bring to mind someone who you have negative feelings toward. It can be someone you do not easily feel sympathy or compassion for. See if it is possible to let go of some of your feelings of dislike for this person. Try to see this person as a whole being–someone who feels pain and anxiety, someone who deserves love and kindness. Try to extend to this person the phrases of loving-kindness in your mind: “May you be happy. May you be well. May you be safe. May you be peaceful and at ease. May you know the natural joy of being alive.”
If feelings of anger, grief or sadness arise during this part of the meditation, do not judge yourself but instead direct loving-kindness toward them.
Now open your awareness in all directions. Think of yourself, your loved one, your neutral person, and your difficult person. Then open to all beings everywhere–those who live in richness, poverty, war, peace, hunger, abundance. Offer the phrases of loving-kindness: “May all beings be happy. May all beings be well. May all beings be safe. May all beings be peaceful and at ease. May all beings know the natural joy of being alive.”
Once again, extend loving-kindness to yourself. Sit quietly and bask in the energy of loving-kindness that you have cultivated.
If you would like a teacher to guide you through Metta (Loving-Kindness) meditation, click here (include link to Metta meditation on Nivati). To learn even more about Metta, check out this fun conversation with Sharon Salzburg, who helped bring the practice to the Western World.
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