The end of summer can be stressful for kids and caregivers alike. After enjoying the carefree freedom and fun of summer vacation, kids have to face the challenges and changes of going back to school and adopting a new and usually much busier schedule. Whether they are starting a new grade, a new school, or a new mode of learning, kids may feel anxious, nervous, or overwhelmed by the transition.

Back-to-school stress can affect kids' mental health, as well as their academic and social performance. This CDC report explains how back-to-school stress can affect young children’s mental health, causing mood swings, irritability, sleep problems, or behavioral issues. Some kids may experience anxiety about making new friends, doing well in school, or fitting in. Others may feel sad about leaving their summer friends and activities behind. 

As a parent or caregiver, you may wonder how you can help your kids cope with back-to-school stress and make the transition smoother and easier. You may also wonder how to manage your own stress and emotions during this time.  

As a mental health practitioner and someone who commonly works with families, children, and caregivers, I have some tips and advice for you and your kids to deal with back-to-school stress. 

In this blog, I will share some ideas about what kids might be worried about or struggling with as the school year approaches. I will also share tips for how parents and caregivers can help to alleviate this stress for their kids as well as what they can do to manage their own stress during this time.

Common Worries Kids Have When Going Back to School

As the school year approaches, kids may have different sources and levels of stress depending on their age, personality, and situation. Some common worries or struggles that kids face when going back to school are: 

• Fear of the unknown: Children may be anxious about what to expect in their new grade, school, or learning mode. They may worry about meeting new teachers, classmates, or friends. They may also worry about the academic demands, rules, or routines that they have to follow. 

• Fear of social rejection: Many kids come into my office to talk about worries about fitting in, making friends, and being liked by others. They may also fear peer pressure, bullying, or teasing from their classmates. Sometimes children struggle with social skills, communication, or confidence after spending a long time away from school. 

• Fear of failure: Some kids may feel insecure about their abilities, skills, or knowledge. They may doubt themselves or compare themselves to others. I commonly see young clients who express worry about disappointing their parents, teachers, or themselves. 
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For more help on this topic, read Strategies for Coping with Change. 

How Caregivers Can Help Kids with Back-to-School Stress

As a caregiver to a child, you play a crucial role in helping them cope with back-to-school stress. Here are some things you can do to support your kids: 

• Listen and empathize: One of the best ways to help your kids is to listen to their feelings and concerns without judging, criticizing, or dismissing them. Listening openly shows them that you understand and care about what they are going through and helps to validate their emotions. Listening to their worries lets them know it is normal and okay to feel stressed about returning to school. Helping them notice and name the emotion they are experiencing can help develop your child's ability to identify and manage their feelings.

• Provide information and reassurance: Another way to help your child is to provide accurate and age-appropriate information about what to expect when they return to school. Answer their questions honestly and calmly. Reassure them that they are not alone and that you are there to help them. Remind them of their strengths and achievements and encourage them to focus on the positive aspects of returning to school. 

• Teach coping skills: A third way to help your child is to teach them some coping skills they can use when they feel stressed or anxious. Some examples of coping skills are deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, positive self-talk, visualization, distraction, or problem-solving. You can practice these skills with your kid at home or before school and praise them when they use them on their own. Find more examples of stress management tools here. 

• Seek professional help: You may find it helpful to seek professional help if your child’s stress or anxiety is severe or persistent. If your kid shows signs of distress that interferes with their daily functioning or wellbeing, such as tantrums, avoidance, physical symptoms, mood swings, sleep problems, or academic decline, you may want to consult a licensed mental health professional who specializes in childhood anxiety. 

How Caregivers Can Deal with Their Own Back-to-School Stress

As a parent or caregiver, back-to-school time may mean that your schedule, availability, leisure time, and financial or work responsibilities might be changing too. For these reasons, many caregivers also experience their own stress and anxiety during back-to-school time. 

Here are some things you can do to help alleviate your own stress: 

• Set realistic expectations and boundaries: Setting realistic goals and boundaries is another helpful strategy for dealing with major transitions. Don't try to do everything or be perfect. Prioritize the most important tasks and delegate or outsource the rest when possible. Learn to say no to unnecessary or unreasonable demands. Communicate clearly and respectfully with your kids, partner, employer, or teachers about your needs and limits. 

• Plan ahead and be flexible: Another important thing you can do to reduce back-to-school stress is to plan ahead and be flexible. Prepare for the school year by getting the necessary supplies, clothes, or documents ready in advance. Establish a regular routine for yourself and your kids, including time for school, work, homework, meals, chores, and leisure activities. Anticipate potential challenges or problems and have solutions ready. Be ready to adapt to changing situations or circumstances and adjust your plans accordingly. 

• Take care of yourself: One of the most important things you can do is take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and avoid coping tools that do not have positive outcomes, such as alcohol or drugs. Have fun, and do things that make you happy. Make time for yourself by reaching out to your friends, family, or support network for help or comfort. Take time for yourself when needed and utilize wellness time or mental health days at work as you need them. 

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Read here to learn How to Take a Mental Health Day that Will Actually Help You Recharge. 

Setting a Positive Example for Coping with Back-to-School Stress 

As a parent, you are also a role model for your children. They look up to you and learn from you how to deal with stress and change. Here are some ways that you can model good stress management and help your kids plan for the upcoming schedule change. 

• Be positive and optimistic: one way you can model good stress management is to be positive and optimistic about going back to school. Express enthusiasm about the new opportunities, experiences, or learning that awaits your children. Avoid negative or pessimistic comments or complaints that may increase your child’s anxiety or dread. Focus on the benefits and advantages of returning to school rather than the drawbacks and difficulties. 

• Be calm and confident: Another way to model good stress management is to be calm and confident about returning to school. Show your kids that you're not afraid or worried about the transition. Demonstrate how you cope with stress or anxiety in healthy and effective ways. Use coping skills such as deep breathing, positive self-talk, visualization, or problem-solving when you feel stressed or anxious. Avoid coping skills such as yelling, crying, blaming, avoiding, or giving up when you feel stressed or anxious. Reach out for support. If you feel it may be helpful, there are many programs and therapists available who specialize in parenting and stress management. 

• Be organized and prepared: A third way you can model good stress management is to demonstrate to your children how you stay organized and prepared for going back to school. Show your kids how you plan ahead and get ready for the school year. Help them set up a comfortable workspace for studying at home or school. Help them learn about the importance of a regular routine, including school, work, homework, meals, chores, and leisure activities.  Involve them in the process of preparing their supplies by helping them pack their backpacks, lunches, or snacks the night before. 

Tips for Transitioning from a Carefree Summer Schedule Back to School

Transitions are generally challenging for children, but you can do some things leading up to the end of summer to help your child prepare and transition back to their school schedule more easily. 

Here are a few tips for the last days of summer vacation that will help you transition smoothly into the school year:

• Gradually adjust your child’s sleep schedule: Adjust their sleep schedule so they can wake up earlier and go to bed earlier as the school year approaches. Start by shifting their bedtime and wake-up time by 15 minutes every few days until they reach their desired school schedule. When possible, avoid letting them sleep in or stay up late on weekends or holidays as you near the start of school. 

• Help create a bedtime and morning routine: Having a bedtime routine will help children develop a process of winding down before bed, making it easier for them to fall asleep over time. Bedtime routines can involve bathtime, brushing their teeth, reading a book, dimming the lights, or listening to calming music. Effective routines will take into consideration the unique needs and preferences of the child and family.  A solid morning routine can also help your child avoid feeling rushed and stressed.

• Review their academic skills: Another thing you can do is review your child's academic skills so they can refresh their memory and confidence before going back to school. You can use online resources, books, or games to practice reading, writing, math, or other subjects with your child. You can also encourage them to read for pleasure, write in a journal, or do some creative projects. Help them feel secure and confident by highlighting their academic strengths and achievements. 

• Visit their school: Visiting your child's school before the school year begins helps them acclimate and mentally prepare. You can arrange a tour of the building, meet their teachers, or see their classrooms. It is also helpful to practice their drop-off or pick-up routines or practice walking or taking the bus to school. 

There is no doubt that the back-to-school season can be a stressful time for both kids and caregivers. However, there are things that can be done to help ease this transition. By talking to kids about their worries, helping them get organized, encouraging them, and being a good role model, caregivers can help kids and themselves cope with the stress of the back-to-school season. 

In addition to the tips mentioned above, it is also important to remember that every kid is different. What works for one child may not work for another. It's important to be patient and understanding and to find what works best for your child. If you're concerned about your child's stress levels, talk to their doctor or a licensed mental health professional. A professional can help you assess your child's needs and develop a plan to help them.

Click here for more conversation and suggestions about Balancing Your Busy Work Life and Connecting with Your Teens.