This blog post was written by Christy Johnson, Counselor at Nivati. You can see more of their content on the Nivati platform and on the Nivati blog. If you want to learn more about Nivati, click here.

Being a teenager can be challenging enough, but being a teen who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or questioning (LGBTQ+) can be even harder. LGBTQ+ teens face many additional challenges in today’s society, such as discrimination, bullying, violence, isolation, and mental health issues on top of the common teen life stressors of high school, exams, busy schedules, peer relationships, and preparing for adulthood. Unsupported, problematic experiences for LGBTQ+ teens can contribute to poor mental and emotional outcomes like lowered self-esteem and happiness levels.

It is beneficial for teens to have a secure and supportive environment at home where they can express themselves, feel accepted, and be comfortable in who they are as an individual. In this blog post, we will explore some of the ways that caregivers can help teens by creating a safe haven at home, and how doing so can improve their quality of life, promote resilience, and provide protection from danger. 

The Benefits of Creating a Safe Haven at Home for  LGBTQ+ Teens:

There are many benefits to creating a safe haven at home for your LGBTQ+ teen. A safe haven at home can help boost your teen's resilience, increase their confidence, and model positive self-advocation and social skills. This research article discusses risk and protective factors for LGBTQ+ teens and highlights how parental support and involvement are one of the most critical and influential protective factors, noting that “parents’ support of sexual orientation and gender expression was related to higher levels self-esteem, less depression, and fewer reports of suicidal ideation or suicide attempts”. With the love, acceptance, and guidance of an attuned caregiver, LGBTQ+ teens are buffered from outside maltreatment. 

Creating a safe haven at home can help: 

• Boost your teen’s self-esteem and confidence
• Reduce their stress and anxiety
• Improve understanding and communication in the household
• Strengthen their sense of belonging and identity, and enhance their social skills and relationships
• Promote physical and mental health and well-being in the home, and prevent or reduce the risk of substance abuse or self-harm for your teen
• Inspire them to pursue their goals and dreams, advocate for themselves and others, and empower them to make positive changes in the world

Creating a Safe Haven in Your Home

Creating a safe haven in your home not only helps your teen feel loved and accepted for who they are, it also provides a refuge from the hostility and obstacles your teen may encounter outside of the home. It is important to create a safe haven at home for LGBTQ+ teens because it may be the only place throughout their day where they can truly let their guard down and be themselves. Providing a place where teens are free from stress and worry supports them in developing resilience and positive stress management skills.

Here are 5 Simple Ways to Create a Safe Haven at Home for Your LGBTQ+ Teen:

• Learn about and respect their identity and preferences. You may ask simply, “What are your pronouns?” Opening up the conversation about identity is a great way to make your teen feel respected. It gives you the opportunity to gain new knowledge and validate your teen by using their preferred name and pronouns. To learn more, this post discusses gender and identity from the perspective of a gender-affirming therapist. 
• Listen without judgment. Listening to your teen without judgment helps your teen feel secure expressing themselves in your presence. The more comfortable they feel talking to you, the more likely they will be to come to you for support in times of distress. 
• Watch for signs of online bullying and help your teen set limits on social media. Teens who experience online bullying may need to minimize, deprioritize, or completely disconnect from social media periodically. Stay attuned to your teen's social media engagement. If you notice that your teen seems to be struggling with self-esteem, let them know that they deserve to feel good about themselves. Help them explore their feelings and brainstorm what could help them to be more confident and secure. 
• Be an advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. Use gender-affirming and inclusive language. Educate yourself and others about LGBTQ+ issues and resources, and learn to stand up and challenge homophobic or transphobic comments or behaviors. Learn about LGBTQ+ rights in your area. Communicate with your legislators and vote for politicians who support LGBTQ+ rights.
• Highlight your teen's strengths and accomplishments. Celebrate their achievements and milestones, and show them your love and pride. Help your teen develop their sense of self-worth and pride. 

Read more here about Balancing Your Busy Work Life and Connecting with Your Teens

How Can I Help an LGBTQ+ Teen Who is Struggling?

There are a few ways you can help if you notice that an LGBTQ+ teen in your life may be struggling. 

• Encourage open conversation. Provide time for check-ins and inquire with your teen about their life. Let them know that you’re there for them and willing to listen without judgment. 
• Explore interests and hobbies together. Encourage your teen to pursue their interests and hobbies and join them in some activities. There is no replacement for quality time together, which is something that both the teen and caregiver will value forever.
• Reach out for support. Help your teen find support. You may want to reach out to a counselor at school, a therapist in the community, or an LGBTQ+ affirming community organization. Educate yourself as well, and find someone trusted for you to talk to about your own worries and experiences.

Resources and Additional Supports

It may be a frightening time in the world for your LGBTQ+ teen, but with compassion and respect from parents and caregivers, they can feel supported, accepted, and loved. 

Remember that hope and resilience are key to overcoming adversity. There are many available resources that can help you learn more about LGBTQ+ issues or mental health services. Here are a few:

• The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ The Trevor Project’s mission is to end suicide among LGBTQ+ youth.
• GLAAD: https://www.glaad.org/. GLAAD is an organization that focuses on LGBTQ+ issues, advocacy, and cultural change. 
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): https://www.nami.org/. 
• StopBullying.gov: Information for LGBTQ+ youth and their families and advocates on the topic of bullying.

If you feel that your teen is struggling, please know that there are many resources for teenagers and their families, and you deserve to find the supports that work best for you. If you feel that you could use someone to talk to, it could be helpful to consider joining an online or in-person support group or reaching out to a therapist for individual, group, or family counseling. 

Disclaimer

By participating in/reading the service/website/blog/email series on this website, you acknowledge that this is a personal website/blog and is for informational purposes and should not be seen as mental health care advice. You should consult with a licensed professional before you rely on this website/blog’s information. All things written on this website should not be seen as therapy treatment and should not take the place of therapy or any other health care or mental health advice. Always seek the advice of a mental health care professional or physician. The content on this blog is not meant to and does not substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.