11 minutes. That’s the time between each suicide in the United States. And while males only make up 50% of the population, nearly 80% of suicides come from them. And since 2000, suicide counts have been steadily rising by at least 1,000 per year, with no signs of stopping. So what is plaguing the minds of males in every part of the country? Today, we’ll explore how the perfect storm is contributing to poor mental health in males, and what we can do to shift this trend in the future.
Acceptance And Masculinity
“Suck it up.”
“Grow a pair.”
“No pain, no gain.”
“Man up.”
What may have once been viewed as casual banter between friends, has spread far beyond its origins. With the rise of social media influence in recent years, these once thoughtless phrases and mindsets have reached a worldwide stage. Creating reality shifts for the impressionable and those seeking guidance wherever it’s preached. But how did we get to this point? And without realizing it, has your mindset been shifted by the stereotypical male ideal?
Names like Andrew Tate, Dan Bilzerian, Jordan Peterson and Nick Fuentes have all become near household names for many millennials and gen z. But not for good reason. One thing these men and similar figures have in common is their unapologetic promotion of toxic masculinity, dismissing the rights and experiences of women and marginalized groups in favor of outdated and harmful stereotypes.
But if you haven’t heard of these characters, you may not know the true impact they have, or values they promote. For context, in 2023, after being arrested on human trafficking charges, Andrew Tate streamed to a record 430,000 concurrent viewers during house arrest in Romania. During said stream and throughout his most prominent years, Tate spoke openly about coercing women in Romania into working under him as adult actresses, for the promise of a better life, only to steal their pay and enrich himself. "My job was to meet a girl, go on a few dates, sleep with her, test if she's quality, get her to fall in love with me to where she'd do anything I say...” - The Mirror UK
Tate's take on depression itself has also proven to be a point of contention. Posts from Tate's account gave his viewers and onlookers an inside peek into what his thoughts were on depression. “Everrrrryones depressed nowadays tweeting me, I'm depressed and I think, wow. It must suck to lose at life that hard. Boohoo” and “Depression is over prescribed by 10,000%. Weakness is celebrated. Personal responsibility is absolved. That's the reality.” - Tate
Tate is just one among the many highly popularized influencers whose audience range from 18-30 year old males. The exact age where support and understanding of depression and mental health complications need to be better addressed and understood. Not shamed and masked. In an article from the American Psychological Association, Missouri Counseling Psychology Professor Glenn Good, PhD, who studies men and masculinity and also has a private practice that focuses on men, stated "I don't think that it's biologically determined that men will seek less help than women," further going on to mention that “...it must mean that it's socialization and upbringing: Men learn to seek less help." Further solidifying the harm figures like Tate and others can cause when promoting the harsh non-emotional ideals valued long ago.
The Perfect Storm
During this blog's introduction, I stated “the perfect storm is contributing to a dangerous future for male mental health”. The male role model influences are without doubt reshaping and sanewashing harmful behaviors in young men. Traditional views of masculinity often emphasize stoicism, strength, and an unwillingness to show vulnerability. These ideals can lead to a culture where emotional expression is seen as a weakness, making it difficult for men to seek help or discuss their feelings. This is especially problematic when men are among those who already have trouble seeking help when depression and anxiety becomes a challenge.
Furthermore, the rise of social media has amplified these pressures, presenting curated images of success and masculinity that are often unattainable. The constant comparison can contribute to feelings of inadequacy and isolation, leading many men to internalize their struggles rather than reaching out for support. Leaving young men feeling like they are in a bubble alone with their feelings. If none of their role models are expressing the same human emotions, or even suggest it’s made up, surely those viewers will be gaslit into believing they are on a journey alone. With no one around that cares.
What Can We Do?
I can assure you this blog will not reach the 14+ million viewers Joe Rogan and other influences pull, however, if you’ve made it this far, I can tell you are ready for some change. There are a few extremely important things all males need to hear in case they haven’t heard it from anyone else.
- Feelings of depression don’t make you weak. Seeking help doesn’t make you weak. Don’t let someone behind a microphone getting paid millions of dollars convince you to think a certain way. This is how the business works. Viewers equals money.
- People in these businesses think, “Why talk about mental health?” when something more interesting, like how the world will end, or more on topic, how curing depression can be done as easily as just walking around the block. Or as Rogan states “Just f**king do something”. Views like Rogans are more attractive because they go against the grain. Yet as mentioned before, in a space where your core audience of young males is already struggling to recognize and seek help with depression, the lack of empathy and emotional understanding becomes dangerous.
- Be selective with your role models. They shape the way you see the world and your place in it. Whether you have a role model currently or are seeking one, here are three things to keep in mind.
- What impacts does your role model have on topics you care about? For example, environmental, social, cultural, etc. Evaluating their thoughts and contributions to these areas will help you understand how they align with your own values and goals.
- What traits inspire you about your role model? Is it fame, wealth, success? Or something deeper? Considering qualities such as integrity, resilience, and humility can provide a more meaningful foundation for your aspirations and help you navigate your own journey.
- Sustain a balanced view of your role model. While others may put such figures on a pedestal, doing so eliminates the opportunity for criticism. And no one is above fair criticism. And no one is perfect.
- Finally, be analytical. Be cautious. When consuming social media content, realize that there is a good chance what you're being told has falsehoods or is taken out of context to some extent. That is the unfortunate nature of social media and attracting audiences. As a society, we’ve shifted from calling out bad actors in the health space to championing those who are actively hurting it.
As for what we can do collectively? We must challenge and redefine what it means to be a man in today's society. We must advocate for more diverse role models who promote emotional intelligence, vulnerability, and open communication. By building up and promoting environments where men feel safe to express their thoughts and emotions, we can begin to dismantle the stigma surrounding mental health and encourage healthier coping mechanisms.
Ultimately, addressing and shifting current mindsets can only be done with support from parents and educators to peers and mental health professionals. By engaging in honest conversations and promoting positive male role models, we can create a future where men's mental health is prioritized, leading to healthier, more fulfilling lives for everyone.
Young adults aged 18 to 25 are at the highest risk of a major depressive episode per a report from the National Institute of Mental Health. This is the target audience for the harmful role models discussed today. Role models that can leave lasting impressions and stigmas for generations to come. Together, let’s change that. Let’s empower males to seek healthier role models, creating a future where mental well-being thrives and stigma is replaced with support.
